When the Asian Gourmand is our Golden Retriever

By Wayne Chan

We are a dog family. Check that – we are an Asian dog family.

I feel it necessary to specify that we are an Asian family that owns a dog because the way we treat our dog seems unique.

We have an English Cream Golden Retriever, named Molly. We all love her, but the way we express our love for her can cause tension in the family.

First, my son Tyler pushes me to stop buying the perfectly good dog food we buy at Costco and spend a lot more money on basically gourmet dog food online. I agree.

Next, my wife Maya decides to supplement the gourmet dog food by telling us we should add some steamed rice and stir-fried vegetables to her kibble. I agree to that too.

Never mind the fact that the Golden Retriever was originally bred in Scotland and the United Kingdom and therefore would be more culturally appropriate for us to add haggis or bangers and mash to her kibble. If that’s the way it works, we should wait until we get a Shih Tzu and we could start feeding her dim sum or won tons to our hearts delight.

Still, she seemed happy as a clam with her Asian cuisine.

However…

What we’ve found over the last week, is that something isn’t “sitting well” with Molly. She gets an upset stomach, to put it delicately.

I take her to the vet, and they say we should do a stool sample, which is not that easy to collect when your dog has an upset stomach. The stool sample test costs us well over $100.

The test results are negative. There’s nothing wrong with Molly. The vet says it’s something that we’re feeding her.

Based on my deduction skills, I notice that she tends to get an upset stomach when we put in leftovers that have been prepared just the day before. Apparently, Molly requires that her meal be made “Wok to order” style.

At this point, I tell Maya and Tyler, I’m OK with the frou-frou dog food, but we need to stop giving her the stir-fried vegetables and rice. She doesn’t need it anyways with the Martha Stewart grade dog food we’re giving her.

Having seemingly solved the “exorcism-level” disruption Molly was having with the leftovers, Maya and I decide to go out for the evening.

Later that night, we come back, and Molly has an upset stomach again. I asked Tyler, did you start feeding her sautéed vegetables again? He said, “No”, and then I start wondering if she really is sick this time.

But then, Ty, immediately follows it up with – “But I did mix in some fried rice with her food yesterday.”

WHYYYYY!?!

So, I say, “that’s it! No more vegetables!!! No more fried rice!!! We’re sticking with the “French Laundry” style dog food and that’s it!”

This morning, I get up and see Molly eating from her bowl, and I look down, and the bowl is filled with more leftovers!!!

WHAT THE #!*%! IS GOING ON?!?

Maya looks at me and says, “It’s OK, I just sautéed these veggies.”

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!