By Wayne Chan, AsAmNews Humorist
Defund Sesame Street!
I had no idea that Sesame Street was such a subversive, government-controlled, woke monster designed at brainwashing our children at the most impressionable period of their lives.
At least that’s the takeaway I’m getting after watching the political commentary coming from Matt Schlapp, the president of the Conservative Political Action Committee, and Ted Cruz, an actual, real-life Senator of the United States of America.
As a middle-aged man, I haven’t watched a single episode of Sesame Street in 52 years. My kids haven’t watched it in 18 years.
Apparently, I’ve missed a lot of destabilizing propaganda in the last 52 years…if you’re to believe the hyperbolic levels of outrage coming from these two politicians. If you listen to them, I shouldn’t be concerned by climate change, the Covid epidemic, the January 6 insurrection, or other global threats.
No no…I need to be up in arms over Big Bird and Ji-Young.
Senator Cruz is accusing Big Bird of “government propaganda” after the radical fowl had the audacity to say he got his COVID–19 shot. And Mr. Schlapp is calling for defunding Sesame Street of any government funding after the introduction of a new muppet character. Ji-Young is, <gasp!>, Korean-American.
I don’t want to paraphrase Mr. Schlapp’s outrage. These are some of his comments.
- What race is Ernie is Bert (sic)? You are insane PBS and we should stop funding you.
- We all loved Bert and Ernie without the foggiest idea of the racial demographic they may have represented. Afterall, Ernie is orange. The taxpayers deserve a big rebate. If PBS and NPR want to be in arms in the socialist movement, they need to pay their own way.
I have to face the real possibility that my not having watched children’s television programming for several decades has led me to the false belief that Sesame Street is only interested in our children’s health and welfare.
This whole “growing up” period of my life may have led me astray. I may need to reevaluate some of the common notions I’ve had about Sesame Street all this time. Once you go down this rabbit hole, you come up with all sorts of revelations.
- Elmo only refers to himself in third person, like “Elmo likes to paint!” I had no idea Sesame Street was intent on promoting narcissistic behavior.
- Big Bird is a six foot tall bird walking around wild on the streets of Sesame. No enclosure, no license to possess a wild animal. Apparently Sesame Street is promoting anarchy in the streets.
- Oscar the grouch is homeless and lives in a trash can. Has the Sanitation Department been notified of this? What if the sanitation truck inadvertently dumps Oscar into the trash heap? Who is liable?
- The Cookie Monster only eats cookies. What kind of message is this sending our children about our dietary needs? I demand equal time from Sesame Street and that they introduce a new character called “The Salad Beast”.
I could go on. But suffice it to say, Mr. Schlapp and Senator Cruz, you have my full support. You keep on criticizing children’s education shows. I mean, that’s why we voted for you, right?
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