By Michelle Shen
Did Hasan Minhaj’s joke on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon get lost in translation? The comic appeared visually frustrated when his story about his parent’s interrupting his therapy session with a phone call seemed to perplex the late-night host. Check out this clip courtesy The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and NBC and tell us what you think.
@asamnews Standup comedian Hasan Minhaj’s viral moment on lack of understanding on cultural differences in therapy #asian #news ♬ original sound – AsAmNews | Asian American news
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It is true that many western therapists rely on a black and white definition of boundaries to the detriment of relationship. Your mom or dad are a hassle, you have to name that, and then create a “boundary” they say. Some Western therapists are extremely harsh, leaning into alienation from Asian parents completely. Sometimes cutting off an abusive parent is necessary, but managing the relationship can provide more traction for most. Setting limits, engaging when one has capacity, empathizing and naming the emotions in the relationship can bear fruit over time. Some therapists participate in creating a split against the parent and in effect amplifying their own power.
But all that said, helping Hasan explore why he takes the call, rather than saying he shouldn’t, would have provided more space for ambivalence, choice, and affirmation.