By Beth & Deb Liu
It’s time. I’m 15 and 1/2 and I’m the perfect age to get my driver’s permit, but I don’t want to. I may not be able to see the future in general, but I already know what’s happening the second I get a shiny new driver’s license. I’ll never be able to relax on Saturdays again! I’ll spend every single weekend wasting my life away, driving my little sister to badminton just like my brother did when he was my age. I don’t want that life for myself.
Even in the absence of my sister’s badminton, I don’t really understand this rush to learn how to drive, especially not where I’m from. At the beginning of this school year, my teacher passed judgment on all of the students who were of age and hadn’t yet chosen to get their permits, particularly seniors, but she was wrong.
Driving isn’t that important in my area since I can get everywhere I need to go on my bike. My friends and I bike to school and to all of the important places we want to go together. I calculated — driving to school costs over $150 more than biking per year. On days when I can’t bike, which is surprisingly often given how many times this year something unfortunate has happened to my bike (read: my brakes being broken, my gears being broken, my bike being taken by my little sister, or it getting stolen), I can get my parents to give me a ride.
Tiger mom
I don’t get it. You don’t want to learn to drive, but it is not just you. Your brother, our first Cub, was reluctant too. When he was 11, I was driving him someplace, and I asked if he would want to inherit my car when he learned to drive. He replied, “Self-driving cars will have taken over by then. I don’t need to learn how to drive.” He is now 18, and unfortunately his faith in technology failed him.
Tiger Cub
He wasn’t too far off. Self-driving cars do somewhat exist now, but you and Dad just can’t justify the purchase of one when your 2010 Hyundai Elantra works so well. You have tape on the door handles just to keep it from cutting our hands when we try to open the door to exit. He is going to love inheriting that thing.
Tiger Mom
Technically, all of you are going to inherit the Hyundai. Also self-driving cars have been on the horizon for over a decade, and every five years, it is just five more years away. While technology has come a long way, we are still quite a bit aways from true no-driver-needed cars. For now, you are all going to have to learn to love the Hyundai.
Tiger Cub
Even though by the time I finally learn how to drive that car will be a decade older?
Tiger Mom
I certainly hope not. I remember when I turned 15, I was so eager to get behind the wheel. Back then, it was a rite of passage. This was the age before the internet, email, or cell phones. Driving meant freedom. We lived in a small town in South Carolina, and certainly my high school was way too away for biking. Driving was so important to us. Given how connected everyone is now, learning to drive is no longer nearly as important as it once was.
Tiger Cub
That may be true, but I would argue that being able to drive was never as important around here as it was in South Carolina. Our city is covered with bike lanes and bike boulevards. Four out of ten kids bike to high school in our town. There’s an expectation that everyone here at the very least knows how to bike, if not all being regular bikers. Even if you can’t bike, there’s perfectly fine sidewalks to traverse the city. Frankly, it’s not a very big city. I can walk from home to any part of our city in less than an hour, minus the nature preserve.
Our city’s superiority over South Carolina aside, I don’t trust drivers much, especially not student drivers. On my way home from school one day, I was biking among a large pack of kids, maybe 20 or 30 students. A reckless car nearly ran a stop sign and almost hit a group of students. The driver had thankfully glanced up in time and stopped just beyond the sign. The driver looked about my age, though the Mustang he was driving was certainly unexpected.
Frankly, I don’t have enough faith in myself to believe I won’t be just like that guy — though I will definitely not be driving a Mustang. Driving is terrifying. The idea of getting into a crash or hitting some random pedestrian is really scary. And have you seen the car crash statistics? I’m not about to let myself, a sleep deprived high schooler, drive a metal death chamber!
Tiger Mom
I see driving as a life skill that is the necessary part of American life outside of a few select cities. We do live in a very walkable and bikeable suburb, but this is a skill which I hope each of you will master sooner rather than later. Whether it’s stopping by the grocery store to pick up extra milk and flour on the way home or taking yourself to church instead of having us drive them back and forth, these are important things that are part of everyday life.
I do worry about you driving sometimes though. People are less attentive than they used to be on the road, and they are less safe because of the massive SUVs and trucks on the road especially since our cars are lower to the ground. I want you to learn and get plenty of practice in. Driving is a necessary skill, not just a nice to have.
Besides, I don’t miss spending an entire Saturday and half of Sunday schlepping all of you to your activities and events.
Tiger Cub
I see driving as optional. I’m going off to college in less than two years, and it’s not like I’m going to be able to bring a car. By the time I return, brain drain will probably have made sure I can’t drive. But there’s no litmus test except going onto the road, which seems unnecessarily risky.
Our culture’s focus on driving before college is annoying and unproductive. It makes sense for those who need to drive before then or aren’t planning on attending college. For my classmates and me, my English teacher’s words were silly. Most of us have no need for a car when we’re halfway across the country at easily walkable colleges. When we finally settle down, we’ll need to relearn the skill anyway. Why not learn it from a professional for the first time after college?
Tiger Mom
I think we have to agree to disagree. But I do want to share why it is so important to me. Some of my best memories are of going out with my friends when I was in high school. We would meet up someplace and be free from our parents and all of our responsibilities. We drove to the waterfront of Charleston. We went across town to go to the mall. We went to the beach to hang out. I want that for you too. That you can have the freedom to go places and experience more things.
Maybe it is my nostalgia speaking, but I want you to make those kind of memories too.
Tiger Cub
While it is now a new age and a completely different millennium, I think I can see the timeless appeal of driving. That doesn’t mean that my fear is diminished or that I really want to be carting my little sister around on the weekend, but I guess it makes a little sense why you are so enthusiastic about driving. You know what? Maybe dad and your prodding about driving has convinced me. I guess I will start studying for the written test over winter break.
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